Tap, Tap, Tap

That is definitely not the sound of anyone’s fingers tapping in that impatient way fingers sometimes tap, waiting around for me to post. How do I know this? Well, I read someplace that blog readers don’t like to be inundated with material. Sometimes, they can’t catch their breaths and it makes them grumpy.

And the last thing I want from you, dear reader, is grumpiness, which is why I’ve been waiting around to tell you what’s up here in BlogLily World.

This is it: That “tap, tap, tap” noise? It’s me, putting up a new page on my blog — a page designed purely for your amusement and entertainment. It is one of those slight train wrecks of a page, a page that should appeal to the voyeur in all of us. It is exactly the sort of thing that is a guilty pleasure for me, and so I figure it’s okay to make one of my own.

The page is called “Dispatches From the Query Wars” (I’ll send a really great prize to someone who can think of something more clever to call it than that!). It contains, in exhausting ive detail the results of my search for an agent to sell my novel and a literary journal to take one of the two stories I’ve recently sent into the world.

My hope is that the courage and tenacity I display in the face of adversity — not to mention the ENTIRE BOX OF CHESSMAN COOKIES I ate after I got the ding from Jonathan Lyons — will spur you on to also fling your body in front of advancing tanks, tanks in which the driver is barely looking at you as they fire off their “No thanks,” “no, never,” and that oh-so encouraging comment: “are you kidding?” Yes, if you need spurring on, I’ll send you some chessman cookies. It’s the least I can do, although I hope I’m doing it for a cause greater than the one I’ve chosen.

And I have changed the blog’s header photo too:  It isn’t raining anymore!  Possibly, spring is coming.  Certainly, things are blooming around here.

Next Up: An actual review of an extraordinary book. In a few days. I don’t want to tire you out.


14 thoughts on “Tap, Tap, Tap

  1. Bloglily, If my doggie didn’t like people, I’d send him to those publishers who turned your work away. I regret that at the moment he will just sit and beg for food. I’ll have to train him a little more…When I was a tv reporter, I used to look over the unsolicited show reel submissions from other reporters. Occasionally I was wowed by their work, but we really didn’t have the budget or an open position for them, so I’d watch the bureau chief or office manager sign the rejection letters and put them in the outgoing mailbox. Thing is, and maybe as an attorney you can understand this, but the “No” letters always had to be brief and bare in details. Otherwise we might be liable for leading people on (or something like that). Anyway, keep those notices because someday you’ll get published and you’ll get a major prize. And then you can hold those up at the people who didn’t publish you and say, “Ha! Take that!” xo, mari

  2. Oh Nova — how did you know about that incessant thing? The problem with e-queries to agents is, of course, that you can check a million times a day to see if they’ve decided they want to take you on. But really, they’re not even thinking about my query, unless they’re mocking it to their friends over g&t’s at lunch.

    LK — Awesome links! Obviously you have been thinking about this a bit.

    Dear Mari, What you say is true. (Well, I’m not so sure about the Great Prize, but everything else….) I am particularly in agreement about the short & sweet letter of rejection. When I was a teaching assistant for a legal writing class and when I was a reader in graduate school, I was ALWAYS shocked by the push-back I got from people. I realize now the reason I got so much of that was because I left so many comments. I myself would never, ever argue with someone who went out of their way to tell me what they thought about my writing — probably because if it was praise I’d be too embarrassed to hear it and if it was condemnation I was busy wondering what cookies I had in the cupboard. Still, it is also terribly unprofessional to push-back like that. In the history of the world, I doubt anyone’s short story has been published after being rejected because the writer e-mailed the publisher back and told them they were wrong.

  3. The upcoming book, dear very public one (and welcome, by the way!) is so extraordinary I cannot even give you a hint. But a review is forthcoming. Soon. Ish.

    Q — Far better than RejectLily!

    Dear Ms. Musings, Thank you. There is something very inspiring about good wishes like yours and I’m grateful to you for them.

  4. Did you ever hear the song “Tubthumping” by the anarchist band Chumbawumba?

    The refrain is:

    I get knocked down
    But I get up again
    You’re never gonna keep me down!

    Something there might work as an alternate title for your dispatches page.

    Keep on getting back up, and keep your sense of humor — after all, that’s what got John, Paul, George and Ringo in. It wasn’t the music after all. Rejected by everyone else, and almost rejected by George Martin, too, he responded to them personally, and to their humor. (“Maybe I can find them some music,” he thought.)

    Don’t ever let them keep you down, Lily!

  5. You are so very brave. I can’t imagine not only trying to publish but also sharing with others in this way. The best of luck to you, and I’ll be watching (and wondering what the hell is the matter with all these agents and publishers). Oh, and I hate to tell you this, but yes, quite often, that “tap,” “tap,” “tap” is ME waiting for a post.

  6. tap tap tap…
    yes, the sounds of a much spoiled and now unsatisfied reader, checking daily and tapping her fingers, as a matter of fact crying very large very wet tears daily when nothing new appears…
    tap tap tap
    splash splash

  7. Oh, I love your tulip tree photo– a big one used to grow in my front yard in Oroville.

    Why is it that every writer page I visit today has something about rejection. Are we are resolving to pluck up our spirits now that we’re waking to sunlight?

  8. Kristin — Absolutely. There is nothing better than a little spring airing out. I can’t get to my closets, because they’re too full of stuff, so I am making do with my rejection experience. I love that tree. My very grumpy neighbor hates it. She claims the blossoms are ruining her life. (!)

    Gail — here, here, have some words!

    Dear Emily, I don’t know about brave. For some reason I do not find my failings all that painful to admit to. Well, there are a few I don’t think I’d like to discuss.

    hey Ben, Thanks for that link!

    You know, Charlotte, I think I should put up my query letter, just to make other writers feel better!

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